How to be kind to your single friends

Since my first post 6 years ago about being endangered, not much has changed in that part of my life. Well I have moved from being chronically single in my 20s to chronically single in my 30s. I want to say it’s different, that I’ve embraced the solitude, independence, etc, but truth is I’ve already done all that and then some. It’s pretty much like being single in your 20s except now you are single and more prone to getting injured by just walking to the water cooler, your biological clock/ovaries have given up on you cause your hormones  are out of whack, and instead of having any hope of finding a confidant or partner you, just resign yourself to the impending future of dying alone. So in other words, fun times.

The following list on how to be kind to your single friend, if you’re coupled up, are things I have probably mentioned before on this blog but after recent events I thought I would post them again. Just some “highlights” that frustrate me in my first world problem plagued life. 

1. Don’t cancel on them last minute. If you do, acceptable excuses include, life or death situations, you or your child being sick. A scheduling conflict because you prioritised your catch up session much lower than a last minute lunch with your in-laws (who you live with) is not a valid excuse.

2. Don’t give them dating advice. Do we give you tips on your marriage or how to raise kids? Just like how we have no clue in that area you’ve been out of the dating scene since George Bush was POTUS. Do you really think you have any useful information relevant to 2019 or that we haven’t heard of the “latest” dating app.

3. If you turn the topic of conversation to an in depth discussion on marriage, in-laws, babies, don’t be surprised if we space out. Sure your kids are cute and your mother-in-law may be the best person in the world/total nightmare (it’s equally annoying hearing about both), but we have nothing to contribute to these discussions. Not only will we eventually get bored, these conversations sometimes give us FOMO or make us feel extra lonely (though I have to admit sometimes they make me go, thank god I’m single and don’t have kids).

4. Finally don’t assume. No, just no. Don’t make any assumptions about our lives and think you have a better outlook on things because you are married or are a parent. I’m not out living a uni-student/party lifestyle. I’m adulting too, just not in the same way as you.

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