Late night love

I have been up quite a bit these days thinking about love. The romantic kind. Don’t know if it’s because I seem to be the love counsellor in the office or because my 30th birthday is around the corner and it’s got me all introspective. Either way it’s annoying, it messes with me head.

I am turning 30 soon and in terms of love have nothing to show for it. Bit of a scary thought. It’s like I didn’t even deserve a failed relationship in these years. Not even temporarily loved. I don’t really get why. There are people who aren’t the nicest people in the world that are happily married or have more than 1 relationship. Selfish idiots that one care about money or superficial things find love. I must be really horrible person.

Deep down I know that I don’t need a man or to be married to be happy/ fulfilled. I know this from observing various relationships and people around me. And I also know one day God and the universe will show me why my perpetual state of singledom makes sense. Doesn’t make the lonely emo nights any easier though.


8 thoughts on “Late night love

  1. I know how you feel, I just turned 27 and although I have had relationships in the past, failed ones are just as bad as not being in one…I could say in a way it could be a blessing :D

    • No, failed relationships are NOT as bad as never having had one….every relationship fails, until hopefully one doesn’t. Having relationships meant that someone found you interesting and attractive enough to want to be with romantically, until it ends for whatever reason. Onto the next relationship. Breakups are part of life, and part of growing as a person. Now imagine NEVER finding someone who found you interesting and attractive enough to want to be with you. Ever. Imagine what that does to your self esteem, and all the relationship ‘milestones’ you miss out on. Imagine never being able to have a conversation about relationships with family, friends or workmates. Imagine looking at yourself in the mirror and thinking ‘why does nobody want me?’

      Now tell me again, which is worse?

  2. It’s all aboit trying enjoy what you have now.

    Being single is great. You can do what you like, when you like, with whoever you like.

    Being in a relationship is also great. You always have a best friend to hang out with and get kisses and cuddles from.

    You’ll find your special someone. It’s just for some reason, up until now, the timing hasn’t been right. Hang on in there :)

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