I want to plan a tea party. I want to make little sandwiches, quiches, have cakes, tarts, cookies and an assortment of hot beverages. I want like 10 people at my tea party. But…I have no one to invite. I will think of something. Maybe I can force my different group of friends to interact. Theme of my party will be awkward. Why do I suck socially? Cat’s, I should get cats and have a tea party for them. Again, why do I suck?
And I just realised something today, I don’t think anyone around me (friends, family) know what I do for work. I mean they know my job title and company, but what I actually do, I doubt it. I sit and listen to all their work/kid stories. I know their colleagues names and quirks, when their first born got their first tooth, what their partner’s jobs are and what they ate for breakfast on June 8th 1999. But I don’t think anyone pays attention to my work stories. Or maybe they do and I am underestimating them.
It’s funny, today at about 3pm, I picked up my phone cause I just had to tell someone what was going on at work. But then I had to put my phone down again. Reminded me of this post. That exact feeling. I remembered the feeling and re-lived the day. That was the day thought maybe there’s some truth to the saying that happiness is nothing if you don’t have anyone to share it with. But at least at that time I was in Canberra, in my room which overlooked a creek with ducklings in it. The feeling sucks worse in this shithole.