Remember John? Well damn Facebook kept bringing him up the last couple of days, and I have been tirelessly liking his posts like an online stalker. What else can you do when you’re bored and lonely? The thing about me that I have noticed is that whenever I have “a thing” (you can call it crush, being smitten, whatever) for someone, I, for some strange reason turn super aloof around them. Even if we were on friendly terms before, I tend to go into this weird mode where if I see them coming I turn and run the other direction, or contemplate hiding under the table. If I am forced to be around them I make minimal eye contact and barely acknowledge their presence. Why do I do that? I don’t know.
With John though, it was different. I had already made an ass of myself a bunch of times with him around. So I decided to be a little more friendly and sociable. I figured I couldn’t make a bigger fool of myself than I already had, and was a little bolder. Got me to Facebook friend level which I know is not much. I have to say though, at that time, when I saw the friend request, I had pretty much planned our future together, wondering what to name our kids and started dreaming of what my life would be like in Africa. At that stage all I knew was that he was from the continent, wasn’t sure which country (it is Kenya in case anyone is wondering). We could have been so good together. <insert dramatic sigh> :D
Seems to be a theme with me, unrequited feelings. Who knows maybe someday it won’t just be one way. Till then, it’s back to stalking John on Facebook. :p