I went for a team bonding/training thing 2 days ago with the new company I am in. It was one of those, be happy, don’t forgo your values, treat everyone with kindness shit type things that most companies run once in a while. I felt depressed at the end of it because what I got out of the training was that I am doing this entire life thing wrong and am a terrible human being. I am too negative and critical of a person. I honestly am trying to be more positive in the way I think and act. I have written about it previously. But it just feels so unnatural, I feel fake trying to be this ball of joy. Still keeping at it though. I am at least working on my patience level, and letting things go, i.e., not getting angry or upset easily. Funnily, I have realised that ever since I started consciously trying to be positive, I have started using curse/swear words more. Whether it’s in my conversations or just thinking “oh fuck” in my head, they seem to be coming out more often. I used to almost never swear, I was classy like that :D. Well I did use the word shit as part of my usual vocabulary. I don’t know, shit just doesn’t seem so bad. Not sure what this means. It’s kind of like I took 1 step forward and 2 steps back.


5 thoughts on “Positive

  1. I think it’s difficult when you consider yourself a negative person to appear outwardly positive. It’s more of an outlook thing – for example acknowledging that you want to be more positive is, in itself, something someone with an inherently positive outlook might do. I do the opposite and worry that, though I view things very positively and see some good in everything, I come across as deeply negative. I don’t mind too much because people are sometimes pleasantly surprised by the positivity but it’s still often a concern. Anyway, yes. Trying to be positive is positive. You’ve made a start. You have to step back for a run up. That was painfully cheesy but relevant so you’ll have to take it. Good luck with it all!
    – Jaz.

    • I guess I should have mentioned that I don’t think I am a overly negative person. I just more of a realist, and that sometimes comes across as negative. And it was the training that made me think I am I negative person. Thanks for the encouragement Jaz, and thanks for stopping by my blog :)

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