Interesting thing, hope. Hope I think is probably the biggest motivator for people to do things, dream big and accomplish goals. Even Albert Einstein thinks so. He said “Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow”. Its basically what keeps us going, especially in very trying times. I’ve been pretty good at this hope thing. Being practical but trying to be optimistic I always try to be prepared for the worst but hope of the best. I know cliche isn’t it? But I do. I hope that tomorrow will be a better day. I give people the benefit of the doubt because of my sense of hope that everyone when it comes done to it means well in their own way. I have hope that the world will evolve to a place where humanity becomes the basis of society not economics. Everyone always says to have hope and never give up and tend to be super inspiring. But sometimes hope just feels like a lost cause.
I think my problem is, I have spent so much time internalising stuff and having to tell myself that things will be okay that I have a hit this point where I don’t trust myself anymore. It’s tiring. And though I have been pretty successful getting things done so far in life, I have become so sick of being my own shoulder to cry on. The problem stems from within, i.e. I am the problem. I am not sure how to fix it though. And for someone who likes to have a backup plan for her backup plan, it’s pretty scary. All this while no matter how lonely, unhappy or frustrated I got, I always had hope. But these days that seems to be wavering. I’m starting to become, well, hopeless.