Snapped

I had a moment today. I realised something. I am awesome. As a employee, friend, sister and overall person, I am pretty great hey? Okay relax everyone, I know I have quite a way to go and many things to learn, I don’t think I am god’s gift to the world. As a daughter, I definitely I could be better, I take my parents for granted sometimes. But in general I think I turned out okay.

And if you disagree with that, it doesn’t matter, because here’s the other thing about me – I am always right. :D

I know what you are thinking, and no I am not drunk. I have not snapped under the work stress either. Well maybe a bit.

In other news, 199 days to Europe. We’re in the 100s now, yay. Slowly but surely, we’re getting there.

The Blues

No not the Monday Blues, but I have those too. I am talking about the football club, The Blues. Chelsea. Yes I am fan. I started following them in think around 2002/3 when they were under the helm of Claudio Ranieri. I was very impressed with the team then. As much as I loved Ranieri, I was pretty okay when Jose Mourhino took over, because I had followed him while he was with Porto and loved how passionate he was. I was a football nut, back in the day in case you don’t already know that.

Anyway, I am posting about them because of this picture (below). Tonight is the last match for Drogba. I am not his biggest fan, but I have to admit, he has been instrumental in the club’s success in the last 10 years. It’s a nice way to leave though, on the last game of the last season where they are on top of the table.

I have to say, the being carried off the pitch is a bit much though.

I miss the days when I used to follow football like a crazy person. And I miss the world cup.

Oh and FYI, Chelsea is my team in the EPL, but they are not my number 1 team.

Playing catch-up

You know how busy you’ve been by the number of modern family episodes you have to catch up on. Looking forward to this weekend.

This week

So far this week I have woken up every day:

  1. Thinking it’s the weekend and almost sleeping in. It happens once in a while but this week, it happened everyday which is unusual.
  2. With a headache.

And then today on the way to work, where I work on getting my mood in a good one (artificial happy) via media, my headphones stopped working with no warning.

Just another 12 hours and I will get a break. Hopefully.

 

Forbidden love

The brain knows it’s not a good idea. Logical and reason are hard to ignore, but the heart. Oh the silly heart. It wants what it wants. Maybe knowing that I was deliberately reducing our interactions increased the excitement. Absence makes the heart grow fonder right? Or maybe I am just crazy.  The rush of it all, all these feelings, so foreign yet so familiar. If you haven’t figured it out, I am talking about the greatest love story in my life. Well more accurately the only love story of my life. Coffee.

I have stayed away from it for quite a while, for the sake of sleep and trying cut out caffeine but today my heart won. I had a cup. The anticipation as the strong, smooth liquid reached my lips and teased my tongue. The taste, the smell, the warmth, it was perfect. The world whizzed past around me I sat there savoring what truly is God’s gift to humankind. For a brief few moments, nothing mattered. Just me and my coffee.

My passion for coffee is a longstanding one. Can’t put my finger on what it is about coffee (probably the caffeine) that evokes such strong emotions. Unfortunately in keeping with the love aspect of my life, tragedy, I only have a fleeting affair with coffee these days. We will have our day together again soon, but till then I will have to hold on to the memories of today.

Calm

All is good in the world. Well not exactly but it’s better. I managed to get Friday off. But not everyone is happy about it. It’s like the 3rd day off I have had this year on a weekday so they can all go fuck themselves if they aren’t happy to be honest. My team is alright but there is mini politics within it unfortunately. And they are forever speaking in mandarin. But anyway, Friday, now I just got to make it to Friday. Baby steps.

Off switch

Okay so after the little break in the last post, we’re back to depression central here. I was really looking forward to this Friday. I was supposed to have the day off and I was planning to take my nephew to this aquarium thingy they have here. I have banned other family members from doing it because it was my idea and so I want to be the first person to take him there. But guess what the new girl quit. Now the off/leave situation is sketchy. No more off for working weekends. And our leave will get frozen.

There are exceptions though. Of the remaining 4 of us, 2 have young children/really old parents so it seems to be acceptable for them to take off. The other guy, he’s new and he apparently bought airfare before he joined out team so he’s taken stretches of leave 3 times. Including over the last weekend. Guess who has only had 1 long weekend and not taken any leave this year? It’s annoying when you feel you are being punished for giving it your all.

It might seem like not a big deal, the plan can get pushed. Just reschedule. But I don’t think people realise how much I look forward to these little things. I seriously don’t have much else going on in life. Especially if the plans involve other people. I am so sick for doing things myself. I realised that when I contemplated going to the movies alone the other day, while having a dinner for 1.

I am going to try and take Friday as annual leave instead of an off for working on the weekend and see if that works. Strongly doubt it, but hope for the best right?

Voice crush

Thought I would take a break from all the talk about being in a dark place to talk about voice crushes. Does anyone else get those? I don’t mean like singing voice, but you know when you’re talking over the phone or something and start thinking, I could take to them all day? Even if you have never seen or met them before? Like a voice invokes the same feelings of drinking smooth velvety hot chocolate? I have a few of these vocal crushes, I don’t know if that’s normal or a sign that I am getting desperate.

Done

Today at exactly 10:59am (UTC +8:00), I decided I quit. I am done. So yeah. I used to be more resilient than this. What happened?

Day of Americans and Rejection

Oh Americans. What a bunch. I have decided I don’t like them. There are some exceptions of course. Beyonce and Ellen Degeneres for example. Americans are not very helpful are they? Well okay fine it’s a stretch to lump them all in one group. In my previous job, I worked mostly with just 1 and I liked talking to her. The ones I have dealt with the past week are a different story. Their accents were annoying too. One of them couldn’t understand me and was frustrated. I mean if you don’t like talking to me you should have just replied my emails. Besides I don’t have a very thick accent and was speaking in English so what the hell. What I really wish I could have said to him was, – stop acting better than me, my English is probably better than yours you idiot. Life, so full of wasted opportunities.

After having a gruelling day at work, I came home to a letter rejecting my credit card application. I know its sad to get annoyed by that too but I don’t have much else going in life. Plus the dude at the bank said I am eligible for it. I don’t have bad credit or anything so why was I rejected? Bank won’t tell me. It’s confidential, which I think it’s stupid. I really need one but I thought it would come in handy for travelling an stuff.

I keep getting headaches too this week. I am not normally a headache-y person. I don’t know if it’s psychological because of work and other stress, and I don’t know how to make them go away.

What is the world coming to? I am getting headaches, people with bad credit walk around with credit cards, Americans are not as friendly as they seem and Kim Jong-un probably sleeps soundly at night. I give up.