I am still working on the whole being positive thingy but my mind is really running crazy this weekend. I feel like crap. And strangely I can’t really put my finger on 1 particular thing that’s making me feel this way. It’s a blend of a few things I think. I tried doing some yoga meditation techniques to calm down but it was no use. I find it really hard to focus and not think about other things. This is why I think I need to go learn proper meditation. Yet another thing I haven’t done in my ever growing to-do list.
My blog stats are not the most exciting in the world. I don’t get a lot of views, a decent amount which I mostly attribute to the same few people who visit my blog every once in a while. I also get some views from interesting countries that I have never heard of (like Reunion).
The one thing I noticed for while though is that I have views from the Czech Republic. It normally comes in through the same source/referrer so I am assuming it’s the same person who visits my blog periodically. Yes I have sort of reverse-stalked this person. This post is basically a shout out to that person. Why you may ask. Well I have, in my life, I been lucky enough to meet people from various corners of the world. However I have not met (well I have met but not really made friends with) anyone from the continent that I am most fascinated with, Europe. Not sure how or why the cards have been dealt that way for me but I suppose it fits with the way my life has played out so far. All other continents (besides Antarctica and the Arctic), I have people who I can visit or will at least be able to give me travel tips. Yes most of these people are concentrated on Asia but I have friends (at least on a Facebook level) in North and South America and Africa too. But not Europe. So yes that is why I am mentioning this reader from the Czech Republic. I am hoping that if I ever manage to get myself to Europe I will be able to get travel tips/advice from them, especially if I stopover in Prague. That is all. Hopefully this post doesn’t scare off that person :p.
I am going for a job interview on Tuesday. It’s the second round for a job role at a major company. It’s a great company and fairly good role if you are into the industry, logistics. Now if the job function was marketing or even administration I wouldn’t be ask confused as I am now. But the job role is more of a mix of account servicing (client relationship management) with logistics operations. I applied thinking it was an admin/analyst role after reading the job description. I also kind of know the manager I will be working under. She was an old uni course-mate. She’s not very easy to work with. The job will require me to be on stand by 24/7 and require me to use my schmoozing/sucking up-salesy skills. Stuff that I am not great at and hate doing. I feel that my judgment is currently highly clouded by my need to get out of my current crappy job. I feel I should take up this new position as it’s a great opportunity but me taking up this new position would be just to escape my present situation. I don’t think I will be as happy even if I take up the new role. That being said, I don’t want to jump the gun, it’s not like I got the job, I still have another round of interview to get through. My dad and people around me though seem to say going for the new job is the way to go if I get through. I am not so sure. I need some time to clear my head, but I haven’t gotten the chance to this weekend with work. I wish I had things figured out. Why do I always feel like I am in a mess? It’s times like these I wish I could just pick up the phone and arrange to meet someone, even though it’s the middle of the night. Got to face reality, it’s just another night staring at my room ceiling, waiting for my mind to calm down so that I can get some sleep.
I had to reblog this
Originally posted on A Collection of Musings:
High school, college and university are supposed to prepare you for the real world. I can assure you that knowledge about sinosudal changes have never helped me in my life. Calculus actually made my life worse thanks to 10 years worth of occasional nightmares about failing it. After living in the “real world” I’ve come up with a curriculum that would actually help the average person.
1. The Science of Human-Feline Interaction
Sure it’s possible to get some cats to like you but let’s face it some of them are snobs even when you feed them cat treats. Surely there is some science to getting them to like you.
2. Introduction to Keeping a Straight Face
I suffer from what I like to call Liar’s Face Syndrome (LFS). My facial expression makes it look like I am lying when I am not. A course on how to control my facial…
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I have been sent for a fair few trainings at work. One of these training is an introspective one where they examine facets of a person’s character/life. Going through this and doing a checklist of the aspect of belongingness, I have discovered that I have trust issues. My ability to put faith in people is very low. While it could be attributed to my personality being an introvert and all, I think it could be a product of my environment. Maybe it’s because in the past I have been let down a fair bit by people/friends. There are just not many people I trust with all my deep dark secrets/thoughts. I mean my being this way is probably why I have this blog and not many of my friends have access to it. I didn’t think that it was a bad thing but the training tells me otherwise. It puts forth the notion that if you find it difficult to trust people you reduce and hinder your ability to be resilient. I am still not convinced that they are right. Other than feeling lonely from time to time, not having someone to tell everything to can’t be that bad, can it? Is me not trusting people easily why I am usually unhappy and find it hard to be positive? Am I sabotaging myself?
I think most women have little issues/insecurities in terms of body image. And when you are fat/overweight or whatever you call it you do tend to think about your body image a fair bit. Well at least I do, can’t really speak for everyone out there. Yesterday for the first time in my life, I saw a picture (below) where I went, hey, my body doesn’t look too bad does it? Not the best picture in terms of face (it was after a big event) but seriously its the first time I have ever thought that about my body. Don’t know whether to take that is a mini victory or take it as being a little sad. I’ll figure it out.
I woke up today feeling exhausted. Which is strange because I felt like I had a decent sleep, no weird dreams, no waking up before 6.
Maybe I have a lot on my mind, which is funny for someone who has a mundane life with nothing going on. I feel like I just want to escape reality and go somewhere far, far away for a week or too. Iceland maybe? Have always wanted to go there. With out and means of communication or technology. Or I take back the technology part, I would want access to a coffee machine. If only I could go into hiding with no questions asked.
To those who say that the perfect man, like Santa Claus, doesn’t exist, I would like to challenge your theory. There is proof that he does. He is smart, funny, talented, absolutely gorgeous and I follow him on instagram. Ladies and gentleman of the jury, I present to you Hugh Micheal Jackman. Buzzfeed has a list of things but it’s not extensive enough for me and for those too lazy to click the link, here’s a brief summary:
- He’s hot.
- He’s Wolverine.
- He seems (I don’t know him personally unfortunately :D) like a good family man, i.e. committed to his wife who he met before the fame and fortune.
- He seems really down to earth in interviews, like he could be anyone’s friend. Not to mention really funny.
- He’s friends with James McAvoy and Micheal Fassbender. Just imagine the 3 of them together, all that gorgeousness not to mention the accents.
- He was the only one who was bothered to get up and run to Jennifer Lawrence’s aid when she fell at the Oscar’s. There were so many people there, everyone else just sat on their asses.
- He’s Wolverine. Just thought I would mention that again.
- He is active on instagram. He posts pictures of football (that’s soccer to you my dear american friends), cute animals, and even of food. I have seen pictures of eggs on toast, croissants, coffee (that definitely got my attention) and most importantly the one below.
- Which brings me to my next point, he eats sushi.
- He knows Neil Patrick Harris.
That’s about it. Pretty strong evidence hey? I shall rest my case. Happy to hear any counter-arguments or if anyone has anything to add.
Do you ever feel guilty that here you are making a mess of your life when someone else in some other part of the world who had more of clue how to live may have lost theirs? Probably not because I guess most of you out there have things figured out a bit better than me. Or feel guilty that you have a pretty cushy life in a politically stable country that has a comfortable standard of living when there are millions out there who may be fighting just for basic needs? I do.
That’s like the stage one of my introspective/contemplative/philosophical mode. Following which I start to wonder about the purpose of life. I mean there has to be more to life than just finding a job you like and well all this hoopla. Would help if I was religious I guess, unfortunately I’m not. Well actually I am actually pretty religious/spiritual I just don’t subscribe to organised religion. I will post about that some other time.
Speaking of guilty, I had to lie at work today to get time off to go for a job interview at another company. Even as the lies came out I couldn’t believe that they were coming out of my mouth so easily. I am so going to hell. Guess I was always going there anyway :p